SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER (Theatrical Release USA 2003)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.3|5.0 Stars ììì

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over—fairly good—but the conclusion of the story seems to ruin the rest of the movie due to the script lines. This film, due to the computer gaming theme, works for children; but for the adult, there’s not much there to keep one in the entertainment seat.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) is sent into a computer game created by his Grandfather’s (Ricardo Montalban) arch nemesis, Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone). His purpose is to rescue his sister, Carmen Cortez (Alexa PenaVega), from the game and to shut down the game in twelve short hours. As usual, Spy Kids rely on team effort to successfully outmaneuver the enemy and win their games.

Additional Thanks

Best Work for Director and Producer Robert Rodriguez. Thank you to Executive Producers Bob and Harvey Weinstein for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Gregorio Cortez (Antonio Banderas), Ingrid Cortez (Carla Gugino), Grandmother (Holland Taylor), Donnagon Giggles (Mike Judge), Cesca Giggles (Salma Hayek), Gary Giggles (Matt O’Leary), Gerti Giggles (Emily Osment), and Arnold (Ryan Pinkston).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. For kids, it’s a cool flick; but the conclusion needs re-writing.

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Ben Meyers

JAWS: THE REVENGE (Theatrical Release USA 1987)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.5|5.0 Stars ììì

Jaws: The Revenge—the 4^th sequel to Jaws—is indeed slightly better than Jaws: 3-D; but it is not enough of an improvement to raise or lower the Ben Meyers’ star rating. Some scenes seem poorly timed with excessive energy poured into the drama (such as the grieving Mother scene). We kind of got it already. Dennis Quaid did not reprise his role as Michael Brody and neither did John Putch reprise his role as Sean Brody in this final film of the series.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Sean Brody (Mitchell Anderson), the youngest son of Martin Brody (Roy Scheider) from Jaws and Jaws 2, takes care of his mother, Ellen Brody (Lorraine Gary), from Jaws, Jaws 2, and Jaws: The Revenge while working as a policeman. At Christmas, he sails out to separate a log from a buoy and dies from a Great White shark attack. Ellen becomes convinced that the shark is on a revenge killing crusade to eliminate her family. After Sean’s funeral, Ellen travels with her oldest son, Michael Brody (Lance Guest) and his wife, Carla (Karen Young), to the Bahamas to live with them. The Bahamas should be a safe place for her family as the waters are too warm to support shark life. But, several days later a Great White shows up in the Bahamian waters. Ellen and her new friend, Hoagie (Michael Caine), become embroiled in a bitter shark battle that lasts through the rest of the film until the last Jaws shark is vanquished.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director and Producer Joseph Sargent. Thank you to Associate Producer Frank Baur for his help in making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Carla Brody (Karen Young), Hoagie (Michael Caine), Thea (Judith Barsi), Louisa (Lynn Whitfield), Jake (Mario Van Peebles), Young Sean Brody (archival footage of Jay Mello), Clarence (Cedric Scott), William (Charles Bowleg), Mr. Witherspoon (Melvin Van Peebles), Tiffany (Mary Smith), Polly (Edna Billotto), Mrs. Taft (Fritzi Jane Courney), and Mayor (Cyprian R. Dube).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. The first Jaws movie is the best of the four. If one desires to complete the series to date, this currently as of 2019, is the last movie of the series. But, for time and money, this one can be passed due to its mediocrity. The original energy for the series seems to have long since passed...however, there is always that unexpected surprise built into another sequel or prequel that could surpass everything made to date. This film lacks the Spielberg touch.

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Ben Meyers

HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS (Theatrical Release USA 1989)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.6|5.0 Stars ììì

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, despite its box office success, and good/suitable story, does not spark as much interest, as other films within this genre set (like Harry and the Hendersons or The Princess Bride).

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Ron Thompson (Jared Rushton) accidentally knocks a baseball through a window of inventor and neighbor Wayne Szalinski’s (Rick Moranis) house. The baseball hits Mr. Szalinski’s shrinking machine. The machine functions. Ron Thompson’s older brother, Little Russ Thompson (Thomas Wilson Brown), insists that Ron retrieve the baseball. He hauls his little brother to the Szalinski home where Amy Szalinski (Amy O’Neill), the oldest daughter, and her little brother, Nick Szalinski (Robert Oliveri), answer the door. All four children walk upstairs to retrieve the baseball, encounter the machine, and are shrunk to a fraction of their size. The rest of the story involves their perils and tribulations as they attempt rescue and restoration.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director Joe Johnston. Thank you to Executive Producer Thomas G. Smith for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Big Russ Thompson (Matt Frewer), Diane Szalinski (Marcia Strassman), Mae Thompson (Kristine Sutherland), Tommy Purvis (Carl Steven), Don Forrester (Mark L. Taylor), and Gloria Forrester (Kimmy Robertson).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. It is a simple story and has its entertaining moments, but has a weak portrayal.

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Ben Meyers

HEAVYWEIGHTS (Theatrical Release USA 1995)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.7|5.0 Stars ììì

Heavyweights—not particularly heavy in content—turns into a ‘just for fun’ film, an afternoon, fill-in-some-time watch.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Overweight Gerry Garner’s (Aaron Schwartz) parents sign him up for a weight reducing summer camp. Gerry Garner—not in the least interested—arrives in camp, makes friends, and begins to settle in for a great summer. However, his great summer is rudely interrupted when the camp goes bankrupt and the owners sell to Tony Perkis (Ben Stiller), a hard rolling, goal oriented, military-styled manager who takes the camp to a whole new level of efficiency. Tony Perkis’ punitive, marshaling style moves the camp kids to revolt and the show is on with a ‘who’s really going to run this camp’ theme.

Additional Thanks

Really Good Work for Director Steven Brill. Thank you to Executive Producers Judd Apatow and Sarah Bowman for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Nicholas (David Goldman), Sam (Joseph Wayne Miller), Cody (Cody Burger), Kenny (Allen Covert), Roger Johnson (Tim Blake Nelson), Mrs. Maury Garner (Nancy Ringham), Camp MVP Pitcher (Bobby Fain), Pat Finley (Tom McGowan), Josh Burnbalm (Shaun Weiss), and Lars (Tom Hodges).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. It’s a ‘kill some time’ watch with no ‘take away’ perks other than seeing Ben Stiller’s artistic side working full throttle while he works to enhance his role as an athletic instructor.

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Ben Meyers

U-571 (Theatrical Release USA 2000)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 2.7|5.0 Stars ìì

U-571—a disappointing, entirely fictional submarine film—offends the British NavaI forces with its presumption that Americans enabled Britain’s acquisition of the Enigma coding machine and documents. The casting department fails to establish a good, charismatic team that is so necessary to pull a movie from mediocre to great.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

The German submarine boat U-571 is known to carry a coding device and books for sending coded German military messages during World War II. American submarine S-33 is ordered to capture German U-571 and retrieve both the coding device and the code books. The German submarine U-571 is disabled by the Americans and part of the crew of the American submarine S-33 board the German submarine U-571. After they have boarded the U-571, their own submarine is scuttled by a second German submarine which is in the area. The Americans are stranded aboard the German U-571. They submerge and engage the second submarine in battle. During the battle the German U-571 sustains damage, but the Americans are able to repair the submarine to the point of enabling travel. As they make their way back to England, a German destroyer intercepts them. Battle engages. The submarine submerges. The German destroyer drops depth charges. The U- 571 surfaces and enables sufficiently to fire a last torpedo to destroy the German destroyer. The Americans flee the U-571 in a lifeboat with the coding machine and coding books secure.

Additional Thanks

Fair Work for Director Jonathan Mostow. Thank you to Executive Producer Hal Lieberman for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Lieutenant Andrew Tyler (Matthew McConaughey), Lieutenant Commander Mike Dahlgren (Bill Paxton), CPO Henry Klough (Harvey Keitel), Lieutenant Pete Emmett (Jon Bon Jovi), Major Matthew Coonan (David Keith), Captain Lieutenant Gunther Wassner (Thomas Kretschmann), Lieutenant Hirsch, (Jake Weber), Seaman Bill Wentz (Jack Noseworthy), Seaman Ted ‘Trigger’ Fitzgerald (Tom Guiry), and Seaman Ronald ‘Rabbit’ Parker’ (Will Estes).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

                                               

No. The Hunt for Red October or The Spy Who Loved Me present significant entertainment that far surpasses the entertainment value of U-571.

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Ben Meyers

JETSONS: THE MOVIE (Theatrical Release USA 1990)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 2.9|5.0 Stars ìì

Jetsons: The Movie—one of the worst cartoon to film makeovers made—kills itself with preachy animal messages. All an audience wants to see when a childhood cartoon is remade is a terrific revisit to the past. The Jetsons, originally, was a terrific futuristic cartoon. This movie takes that cartoon, extends it into a longer film format, and ruins it with a preachy, tiring message with no new futuristic 'baubles' to dazzle the eye. The music, which should have supported the film, dominated it. The movie ended as a promotion of the music. An audience may wonder if they went to a concert rather than a movie. For the script writers of this film: We get it that we have to be good to animals. Next time, let’s be good to the audience and give them the Jetsons as it was meant to be and tell the musicians that if they want to be famous, perform on the open stage and stay out of the film industry.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

George Jetson (voice of George O’Hanlon), who has a great job, a great daughter and son, and a loving wife, gets transferred to a head position of an asteroid’s drilling plant with the assignment to keep production at optimal levels, but finds that there are problems with consistent sabotage. Jetson discovers that the plant is not environmentally friendly to the planet’s animal habitat and works to correct the situation.

Additional Thanks

Fair Work for Director William Hanna and Joseph Barbera. Thank you to Executive Producers William Hanna and Joseph Barbera for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Mr. Spacely (voice of Mel Blanc), Jane Jetson (voice of Penny Singleton), Judy Jetson (voice of Tiffany), Elroy Jetson (voice of Patric Zimmerman), Astro (voice of Don Messick), and Rosie the Robot (voice of Jean Vander Pyl).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

No. There are better animated features out there like Tarzan, Toy Story, Zootopia, and A Bug’s Life.

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Ben Meyers

GREASE (Theatrical Release USA 1978)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.1|5.0 Stars ììì

Grease—a good dancing film—plays off a raunchy script. Parents don’t be fooled by the PG-13 rating. The basic theme is: you have to be a wild girl to be a cool girl and if you want the guy of your dreams, you’ll have to bend some of the rules. Rated as one of the best films of 1978 by a series of reviewers, it barely makes a 3-star rating by Ben Meyers due to poor moral messages sent to teen-age audiences.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Over the summer, Danny Zuko (John Travolta) falls in love with an Australian girl, Sandy Olsson (Olivia Newton-John), but when Danny goes back for fall high school classes he has to leave her. He tells her that love is eternal and returns to his high school gang. When he finds that Sandy goes to the same high school he attends, the love story with its typical ups and downs is on.

Additional thanks

Good work for Director Randal Kleiser. Thank you to Producers Allan Carr and Robert Stigwood for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Rizzo (Stockard Channing), Kenickie (Jeff Conaway), Doody (Barry Pearl), Sonny (Michael Tucci), Putzie (Kelly Ward), and Frenchy (Didi Conn).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. It has a unique artistic flavor, but is considerably more mature than expected.

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Ben Meyers

A MONSTER IN PARIS (Theatrical Release France 2011)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.1|5.0 Stars ììì

A Monster in Paris—an intriguing, offbeat French animated film—features an oversized flea with a terrific singing voice. The downside of the film is that it plays at the edge of a message movie rather than an entertainment piece and would appeal to the adult more than the child.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Parisian businessmen become involved with a scientist who mixes potions to turn a flea into a 6-foot mutation. A female musical entertainer includes him in her act due to his musical abilities.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director Bibo Bergeron. Thank you to Executive Producers Nadia Khamlichi, Adrian Politowski, and Gilles Waterkeyn for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Francoeur (Matthieu Chedid), Lucille (Vanessa Paradis), Raoul (Gad Elmaleh), Madame Carlotta (Julie Ferrier), and Emile (Sébastien Desjours).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. The film lacks imagination.

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Ben Meyers

CATWOMAN (Theatrical Release USA 2004)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.1|5.0 Stars ììì

Catwoman—a lame, laugh-out-loud farce—with actress Halle Berry looking great on screen, but definitely not the best casting choice for this film, shows her as too bashful and ‘silly’. Sharon Stone fails to produce the ‘stone cold’ persona she needs to portray while Benjamin Bratt just tries to hold what’s left of this movie together.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) who works for an age rejuvenation company as an artist and graphics designer finds that the age rejuvenation product her company is planning to market is harmful to the human body. Caught eavesdropping on the findings of the head laboratory scientist and his recommendations to the company’s owner, Patience Phillips is murdered. She washes up onto a rocky beach where a pack of cats surround her. The pack leader walks toward her and breathes into her a type of special cat breath.  Immediately her eye changes to a cat’s eye and she eventually awakens as if nothing has happened. After returning home, she finds that she has been transformed into a different creature and gradually assumes the persona of Catwoman.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director Pitof. Thank you to Executive Producers Bruce Berman, Michael Fottrell, Robert Kirby, Benjamin Melniker, and Michael Uslan for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt), Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone), George Hedare (Lambert Wilson), and Ophelia (Frances Conroy).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. If the only thing in a movie you appreciate is glamour and sexy looks—without much of a story—then the cameras in this film are all over sexy and glamour and not much else.

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Ben Meyers

GLORY ROAD (Theatrical Release USA 2006)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.8|5.0 Stars ììì

Glory Road—the question of ‘why is this important’ wreaks havoc in this film from start to finish. The movie has a good story line and fair acting; but, it’s not easy to follow the characters due to poor character development and lack of character depth. Add to the mix, multiple character names and you’ve got a difficult to follow script.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Don Haskins (Josh Lucas) coached for an all female basketball team before transferring to an all-male basketball team at Texas Western College, El Paso, Texas. The Texas Western Miners team needs serious bolstering and Don Haskins builds a team comprised of five white players and seven black players. His disciplined training leads them to win the 1966 NCAA Men’s Division Basketball Championship Game.

Additional Thanks

Really Good Work for Director James Gartner. Thank you to Executive Producers Andy Given, Chad Oman, and Mike Stenson for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include:  Bobby Joe Hill (Derek Luke), Jerry Armstrong (Austin Nichols), Adolph Rupp (Jon Voight), Moe Iba (Evan Jones), David Lattin (Schin Kerr), and Mary Haskins (Mary Deschanel).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. An audience may ask, “Why is this particular story more important than all the other stories out there and what is the reason behind spending millions of dollars on this movie versus other movies?” The film doesn’t score high on informative value, entertainment value, or moral lesson value. It’s just a ‘fair’ sports movie. For your money, Draft Day is a better pick.

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Ben Meyers

JAWS 3-D * (Theatrical Release USA 1983)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.5|5.0 Stars ììì

Jaws 3-D—low grade entertainment value—has it points, but it is not the best film of the series. The acting is fair but the script lacks realism. It is not clear why the choice of 3-D is made other than the minor upsurge in popularity in the 1980s for 3-D filming. Know that the Ben Meyers' team did not view this film in 3-D and cannot comment on the cinematographic quality of this film. Listen for one of Calvin Bouchard 's (Louis Gosset, Jr.) script lines that could become a meme.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

A female shark and its single offspring take refuge in Orlando SeaWorld Park’s underwater tunnels. Mike Brody (Dennis Quaid) takes down the female shark.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director Joe Alves. Thank you to Executive Producers Alan Landsburg and Howard Lipstone for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Sean Brody (John Putch), Dr. Kathryn ‘Kay’ Morgan (Bess Armstrong), and Philip FitzRoyce (Simon MacCorkindale).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. If Jaws fans want to finish the series, buy that ticket. If you want a really good thriller, skip it. It lacks the quality of the first and second Jaws movies.

*Also known as Jaws III

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Ben Meyers

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE (Theatrical Release USA 2016)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.5|5.0 Stars ììì

The Angry Birds Movie—should have been left in the gaming department. The film bases itself upon a trendy computer game so it’s understandable why the film structures itself the way it does. The audience is left with some comedy and good computer animation. Financially, the film was a smashing box office success which proves once again that we will buy almost anything if we like it even if the value isn’t there. Children, 10-years-old and up, will most likely appreciate this film.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

The back story on the bestselling game The Angry Birds revolves around Red (voiced by Jason Sudeikis), a flightless bird with a lot of anger issues. After a complete failure to deliver a gluten-free birthday cake to a birthday party on time, he blames the child’s parent for his failure and causes the premature hatching of the parents’ new baby. Law court sentences Red to attend anger management classes. While unwillingly attending these classes, green pigs invade Red’s island home and make it look as if they are settling on the island. In reality, the pigs are stealing the islands’ bird eggs to cook on their own island. Red and a ‘rat pack’ of birds solve this injustice and retrieve the eggs with the help of Mighty Eagle (voice of Peter Dinklage), an Eagle that is renowned for saving and helping the bird city in times past.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Directors Clay Kaytis and Fergal Reilly. Thank you to Executive Producers Mikael Hed and David Maisel for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Chuck (voice of Josh Gad), Bomb (voice of Danny McBride), Matilda (voice of Maya Rudolph), Leonard (voice of Bill Hader), Terence (voice of Sean Penn), Judge Peckinpah (voice of Keegan-Michael Key), Stella/Eva, the Birthday Mom (voice of Kate McKinnon), Ross/ Cyrus/ Mime (voice of Tony Hale), and Edward, the Birthday Dad (voice of Hannibal Buress).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe

Maybe. It took a great deal of imaginative work to produce this game craze into a movie. Because it takes advantage of a craze, it becomes a bit of a ‘cheat’ film for full entertainment value. There are better films for your time and money that won’t con you such as the Shrek series.

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Ben Meyers

GLADIATOR (Theatrical Release USA 2000)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 4.0|5.0 Stars ìììì

Gladiator—good, well-told, well-written story—wisely chose  Russell Crowe as the lead actor. That choice made this film work. The movie also shows Richard Harris in the latter part of his career. It is a good pick and a great reminder of past, prime-time entertainment for the audience who appreciates Roman history films. Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Rome, Italy is under the rule of Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris). Particularly pleased with General Maximus’ (Russell Crowe) victories over the difficult Germania borderlands, he offers the rule of the Roman Empire to General Maximus over his own son Commodus’ inherent rights. The greatly angered Commodus murders his father and takes vengeance on General Maximus’ family by ruthlessly murdering them. General Maximus ends up in Zucchabar where he is trained to fight in gladiator arenas. He works his way back to Rome through skillful fighting, performs in front of Emperor Commodus, and turns the Roman Empire against its own reigning Emperor.

Additional Thanks

Great Work for Director Ridley Scott. Thank you to Executive Producers Laurie MacDonald, Walter F. Parkes, and Ridley Scott for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), Proximo (Oliver Reed), Gracchus (Derek Jacobi), Juba (Djimon Hounsou), Falco (David Schofield), Gaius (John Shrapnel), Quintus (Tomas Arana), Hagen (Ralf Moeller), Lucius (Spencer Treat Clark), Cassius (David Hemmings), Cicero (Tommy Flanagan), and Tigris (Sven-Ole Thorsen).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Yes. This is a good watch and tells its story well. This movie works as a big budget film with an epic story to tell. This film could use a little better presentation to move the movie into a higher interest level.

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Ben Meyers

D2: THE MIGHTY DUCKS (Theatrical Release USA 1994)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.5|5.0 Stars ììì

D2: The Mighty Ducks—not as believable or as entertaining as its prequel—has its inspirational points with scenes involving mentor and mentees and achieving proper focus, discipline, and ethical values to produce team sport wins. However, virtually every one of those scenes involves trite dialogue and monotonous morality. The Walt Disney name cannot save this film from mediocrity.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Minor League hockey star Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez) returns to Minnesota after a knee injury and is offered a coaching opportunity for Team USA, a hockey team that has many members of the Ducks in its ranks. Team USA’s competition goal is playing and winning the Junior Goodwill Games. They achieve easy wins against Trinidad and Tobago, but suffer resounding defeat after facing Iceland. Coach Gordon Bombay takes a hard-line approach in pushing Team USA to victory before being reminded that there is a difference between being passionate about playing the game and being passionate about winning.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director Sam Weisman. Thank you to Executive Producer Doug Claybourne for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Michele MacKay (Kathryn Erbe), Tibbles (Michael Tucker), Jan (Jan Rubes), Coach Wolf Stansson (Carsten Norgaard), Marria (Maria Ellingsen), Charlie Conway (Joshua Jackson), Fulton Reed (Elden Henson), Greg Goldberg (Shaun Weiss), Lester Averman (Matt Doherty), and Jesse Hall (Brandon Quinton Adams).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Yes. If you plan to finish the series, this film is the second in the Mighty Duck series of three movies.

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Ben Meyers

SPY KIDS 2: ISLAND OF LOST DREAMS (Theatrical Release USA 2002)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 3.3|5.0 Stars ììì

Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams—designed for kids aged 10 and up—manages its high points with its gadgets and gizmos, but trashes itself with a lame script that places it in the ‘not the best film in this series’ category. Two things of interest are: the portrayal of Troublemaker Studios as a theme park and the many different forms of minimized animals as constructed by the character Romero (Steve Buscemi).

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Carmen Cortez (Alexa PenaVega) and Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) save the President’s Daughter (Taylor Momsen) at Troublemaker Studios Theme Park, but find themselves on a bigger mission to retrieve an electronic device that can shut off all the world’s electricity. They go head to head with power hungry Donnagan Giggles (Mike Judge), find that goals are better achieved when an entire family is involved, prove that right is might, and that stories are meant to have happy endings.

Additional Thanks

Good Work for Director and Producer Robert Rodriguez. Thank you to Executive Producers Bob and Harvey Weinstein for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Gregorio Cortez (Antonio Banderas), Ingrid Cortez (Carla Gugino), Isador ‘Machete’ Cortez (Danny Trejo), Felix Gumm (Cheech Marin), Gary Giggles (Matt O’Leary), Gerti Giggles (Emily Osment), Grandfather (Ricardo Montalban), Grandmother (Holland Taylor), Fegan Floop (Alan Cumming), and President of the USA (Christopher McDonald).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

Maybe. What it lacks in storyline is partially redeemed in special effects.

Video Critique Available Here:

Ben Meyers

JANE GOT A GUN (Theatrical Release USA 2016)

Ben Meyers’ rating: 2.5|5.0 Stars ìì

Jane Got A Gun—a flop from the get-go—lacks coherency in its storyline. The flash backs—hard to follow; the actors—unrealistic; the script—poorly written.

Film Poster Courtesy of Wikipedia

Storyline

Bill ‘Ham’ Hammond (Noah Emmerich) returns home to Jane (Natalie Portman) and 5-year-old daughter, Kate (Maisie McMaster) with bullets in his back. He informs his wife that the Bishop Gang is on its way. Jane flees to a neighbor, Dan Frost (Joel Edgerton), and asks for help. Dan refuses to help. She goes to town to get ammunition to fight the gang on her own. After a change of heart, Dan Frost follows Jane into town and tells her he will help her. They return to the homestead and fix a trap for the outlaw gang. The movie tells its back story in a series of flashbacks that reveal Dan Frost was Jane’s husband before the American Civil War. When he did not return from the war, Jane, pregnant with Dan’s daughter Mary, decided to go west. The wagon train Jane boarded was controlled by outlaw John Bishop (Ewan McGregor) who planned to place the women on the wagon train into a brothel. But, one of the Bishop gang, Bill ‘Ham’ Hammond, wanted to marry Jane and adopt Jane’s daughter, Mary (Piper Sheets), as his own.  John Bishop disagreed and sent Jane to the brothel. Bill ‘Ham’ Hammond rescued Jane from the brothel. They believed the child, Mary, died. The two fled to start a new life and produced a daughter named, Kate (Mia Wagenman). When the Bishop gang arrives at the Hammond homestead, a fight ensues. Bill ‘Ham’ Hammond dies. Dan Frost and Jane successfully battle the outlaws, find that their daughter, Mary (Victoria DeMersseman), is still alive. They rescue their daughter and along with daughter Kate head west to start a new life.

Additional Thanks

Poor Work for Director Gavin O’Connor. Thank you to Executive Producers David Boies, Chris Coen, Ryan Kavanaugh, Paris Kasidokostas Latsis, Jason Rose, Dylan Russell, Tucker Tooley, Bob Weinstein, and Harvey Weinstein for making the film possible. Additional characters/cast include: Vic Owen (Boyd Holbrook), Fitchum (Rodrigo Santoro), Cunny Charlie (James Burnett), and Slow Jeremiah (Sam Quinn).

Buy a ticket? Yes? No? Maybe?

No. If you are looking for a modern-made western, check out Cate Blanchett and Tommy Lee Jones’ The Missing.

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Ben Meyers